HEY GIRLFRIEND!!
Hey, Girlfriend!
Did I tell you that I couldn’t go to the DKG International Convention in Colorado? I was banned from the flight because of my emotional support animal! Baby Clint Eastwood looked cute in his hat and chaps, but believe it or not Southwest Airlines has a no alligator policy! Next convention I’ll ride with Edna Earl. She loves Clint.
I just thought my flabbers had been gasted but then I got a pirated, hush hush video from Convention. It seems there was an Elvis Impersonator, and it looks like the ASTEF girls were there for it.
You remember my letter back in February about my Grandpa Otis Henry, the world’s oldest Elvis impersonator? Well this guy Colorado hired to play Elvis was younger, sparklier, and his gyrations didn’t look as painful as Grandpa’s were. Give him time. This Elvis even had a real band and not a boom box. Fancy schmancy.
You should have seen Psycho Suzy! She was all decked out in red and literally danced to the stage. Elvis leaned down, gave her his satiny scarf, and kissed her! PS was all giggly, wiggly, and swoony just like a real fangirl—I kid you not. But I heard from a confidential source that PS had a baggy of “gummies” at her table and offered to share them. Someone asked if the gummies were “special.” Hmmm Special gummies could have something to do with PS’s euphoria. Naaaa, PS is just naturally weird. After all, they were in Colorado.
There were at least two members of the Texas State executive board doing what I think was either a line dance or something from TikTok. Hard to tell, but they were doing it with loads of enthusiasm–the ASTEF way. Last but not least, one group posed with an Elvis cutout and blow-up guitars. A PAD PAL was in that photo! That’s dedication: serving at least six years on the board then showing up at events with her inflatable guitar. I should have been there with my baby Clint. He would have loved Elvis, but I think Clint’s more of a two-step guy. He’s from Texas I can tell.
I’d show you the tape I was sent, but it’s probably like the tapes on that old tv show, Mission:Impossible that self-destructs to keep the mission a secret. I’m sure some techy ASTEF girl will find a way to do that with internet messages. You have ten minutes to read it then poof it’s gone. You snooze; you lose!
Don’t ASTEF Directors know how to have a good time? They really should put on the application for board membership that insanity is not required but is a plus and the ability to sing and dance (no matter how badly) is required.
Until the next time I get a secret hush hush video,
Lady Secret Sister
Did I tell you that I couldn’t go to the DKG International Convention in Colorado? I was banned from the flight because of my emotional support animal! Baby Clint Eastwood looked cute in his hat and chaps, but believe it or not Southwest Airlines has a no alligator policy! Next convention I’ll ride with Edna Earl. She loves Clint.
I just thought my flabbers had been gasted but then I got a pirated, hush hush video from Convention. It seems there was an Elvis Impersonator, and it looks like the ASTEF girls were there for it.
You remember my letter back in February about my Grandpa Otis Henry, the world’s oldest Elvis impersonator? Well this guy Colorado hired to play Elvis was younger, sparklier, and his gyrations didn’t look as painful as Grandpa’s were. Give him time. This Elvis even had a real band and not a boom box. Fancy schmancy.
You should have seen Psycho Suzy! She was all decked out in red and literally danced to the stage. Elvis leaned down, gave her his satiny scarf, and kissed her! PS was all giggly, wiggly, and swoony just like a real fangirl—I kid you not. But I heard from a confidential source that PS had a baggy of “gummies” at her table and offered to share them. Someone asked if the gummies were “special.” Hmmm Special gummies could have something to do with PS’s euphoria. Naaaa, PS is just naturally weird. After all, they were in Colorado.
There were at least two members of the Texas State executive board doing what I think was either a line dance or something from TikTok. Hard to tell, but they were doing it with loads of enthusiasm–the ASTEF way. Last but not least, one group posed with an Elvis cutout and blow-up guitars. A PAD PAL was in that photo! That’s dedication: serving at least six years on the board then showing up at events with her inflatable guitar. I should have been there with my baby Clint. He would have loved Elvis, but I think Clint’s more of a two-step guy. He’s from Texas I can tell.
I’d show you the tape I was sent, but it’s probably like the tapes on that old tv show, Mission:Impossible that self-destructs to keep the mission a secret. I’m sure some techy ASTEF girl will find a way to do that with internet messages. You have ten minutes to read it then poof it’s gone. You snooze; you lose!
Don’t ASTEF Directors know how to have a good time? They really should put on the application for board membership that insanity is not required but is a plus and the ability to sing and dance (no matter how badly) is required.
Until the next time I get a secret hush hush video,
Lady Secret Sister
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